Self-confidence is not a strength of mine. Last year I decided that once a month, I was going to do something I had never done before. A few of the things I have accomplished are: participating in a 5K (I walked!), going to the beach alone, and riding an escalator. (Now I don’t mean the normal way; I rode down on the side rail.) Perhaps the most surprising thing I did was karoke. Karla and I sang “Wild Thing, you make my heart sing… ” at a church Valentine banquet.
This weekend I was at my older brother’s house. He had to leave around lunch to bale hay. Wishing he had some help, he half-jokingly said, “I don’t reckon you could help bale? Can you drive a tractor?” Well, when opportunity presents itself, take it. There’s a first time for everything.
Following Directions
To begin with, he named the various parts of the tractor. I pretty much blocked it all out except the KILL switch. That one sounded important, in case of an emergency. Next, he TOLD me what to do. As he described my mission, I felt overwhelmed. I am a visual learner. “Show me; don’t tell me.” So, he did. I stood on the edge of the tractor’s running board while he drove around the field. He showed me how to maneuver the lift and when the hay rake needed to go up and down. He explained that we were moving the hay into rows and it was important to keep the rows straight. Straight rows make it easier to bale. After completing two laps, he jumped off the tractor, and I sat behind the wheel. He headed across the field, got on the other tractor, and left me to fly solo.
I putted along, replaying his instructions in my head. Now, when was I supposed to turn around and retrace the row? How soon do I drop the hay rake after turning? I worried I was going to screw up. Sometimes as I looked behind me, I smiled at my nice straight rows. But other times I would glance back and see what looked like a large, golden snake!
God’s Directions
Driving in nature for four hours gave me a lot of time to think. I thought about how this process is like life. Like my brother who was giving me guidance, God gives us direction in life. We travel along the straight path He intends for us. But sometimes we look back at life and wonder how our path got so crooked! I worried that my brother would be disappointed at the rows that were squiggly, but he was patient, and encouraging. “You’re doing good!” God is the same way. He doesn’t expect perfection. He expects us to listen to his instructions and try our best to stay on the straight path.
Hold On Tight
After cutting a flat portion, we moved on to the larger, unsteady side of the field. He motioned for me to stop. He hopped in the driver’s seat of MY tractor, and I again stood on the running board to watch. This ride wasn’t as smooth, and I was holding on for dear life at times. When we drove over a slanted area, I worried the tractor would flip. My brother reassured me as he simply replied, “it won’t.” Doesn’t God do the same for us? When the ride of life becomes bumpy, he takes the wheel for a while. Even though it seems scary at times, we must trust he knows what He is doing. We have two choices: hold on to His hand or let go. Now as I stood holding on tightly, I thought of the alternative. If I get tired and let go, I will either fall forward and be run over by the wheel or fall backward and be torn to shreds by the hay rake. Holding tight was the better choice, as it is with God.
My brother kept driving for a while. I began to get tired of waiting and standing. I wanted control of the wheel. Why isn’t he letting me drive? Around and around we went. But when I stopped wanting to take control and just looked around, I took in the beauty I was missing. Sometimes God just lets you ride along enjoying his blessings; giving you time to refresh in Him.
Trust God
When I was back in the driver’s seat, I was relaxed. The second time was easier. I bounced around while singing “International Harvester” in my head. To begin with, every dip seemed like a valley and every small hill a mountain. But I began to trust the path. When you first start walking with God, the ups and downs may seem so extreme. But when you get used to trusting Him, the highs and lows don’t seem so magnified. You can roll with the punches.
Sometimes God will put you in a situation you weren’t prepared for. I was sporting my new, cute sandals and my manicured toes. I had on a nice summer outfit, makeup, and contacts. In the end, my feet were sunburned, my makeup was smeared, my contacts itched, and my clothes covered in dust. But sometimes you have to get down and dirty to get where God wants you to be in life.
In the end, it didn’t matter how straight or squiggly the rows I worked were, or how fluffy or scattered the hay was. They all resulted in a beautiful hay bale that was going to go to good use. It could be nourishment for cows, decorations for homes, fun hayrides for kids, or many other things. No matter how many straight or curvy rows you have in life, God can make something beautiful, and He can use you.
As the day ended and I hopped off the tractor, my brother said, “I give you an 80.” Not too shabby for a first try! I’ll take it! (I may have been counted off for lifting the hay bale too high, while sitting on a slope, which could have flipped the tractor, which scared my brother to death!)