Category Archives: Faith

Help: Stuck in Muck -By Donna

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Saturday was a gorgeous, sunny day. I went walking with our three dogs.  The oldest dog Zeus, who is approaching eleven, is obsessed with fetching.  Anytime we walk, I am constantly throwing the ball for him to retrieve. He is always with me.  Seebee, the crazy dog, has to always be in the lead way uimg_2287p ahead. Carlton, the little prissy inside dog, is always in the middle, desiring to keep up with Seebee.

When I say walking the dogs, I don’t mean on a leash in the neighborhood. We were all roaming free on trails in the woods and on the open area where loggers have been clear-cutting. After strolling for about an hour, we were all four tired, thirsty, and dusty. All the creeks on our 40 acres had dried up from the lack of rain. So, the dogs were unable to drink until we neared our yard that has an acre lake. The side near the dam remains deep, but the opposite side has receded a lot due to the drought. Carlton headed on to the house to go inside, and Seebee just continued to run around, but my tired, old Zeus needed water.

“It will be like walking on water!”

I instructed him to walk over and drink, but he just stood there looking at me as I was holding his tennis ball. “No more ball, go drink.” He remained staring at me with his big brown eyes as he panted hard. “Fine, come on. I’ll go with you to get a drink.” He followed me just a few steps and then stopped. “Zeus, how cool we get to walk where part of the lake use to be. It’ll be like walking on water.” Clearly, it doesn’t take much to entertain me. I love to do things I’ve never done before. But Zeus, who never leaves my side, except to retrieve the ball, didn’t budge. Maybe that should have been my first clue!img_2283

I took about four steps on the black murky mud, where water used to be. Suddenly the ground beneath seemed to disappear and I sank to mid-calf. Surprised, I quickly tried to step up, but I sank to my knees! At first I began laughing. In my mind I pictured Gilligan pulling Skipper out of quicksand. The more I moved, the deeper I sank. “Zeus!” He clearly didn’t want to come, but walked toward me obediently. I grabbed his back end, but he began to sink too. Then he quickly retreated and ran to safety. Seebee, meanwhile stood to the side watching the show.

Help

My feet felt like lead weights as I tried to raise them out. The more I struggled, the deeper I sank. I found myself standing thigh deep in muck, stuck. I stood there looking around, accessing my situation. Finally giving in, I hollered, “HELP” waiting for someone much stronger than me to pull me out.

As I was walking toward the spigot to hose myself down, the Bible verse “Be still and know that I am God” flooded into my mind. I was overcome with the message portrayed to me. To be perfectly honest, right now in my life things are very challenging and I have decisions to make. I have always kept my faith and my eyes on God. But I find myself  attempting to figure it out, and the more I do, the more trapped I feel. I need to stop trying to fix everything and everybody. I need to be still and let His arms, that are so much stronger than mine, lift me up and out. 

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Stay Focused; Just Keep Swimming -By Donna

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Staying in a private beach house during summer break in 1985, was just what two college girls needed. Annmarie and I got a great deal on the house, and we didn’t care that it had no TV.  Our intentions were to be beach dwellers for the week.

One cloudy day we were surprised to find we were the only people on the beach. “This is totally awesome! We have the whole beach and ocean to ourselves.” We laid on our floats, talking and singing for hours.

“Good grief, this water is dark,” I commented as I looked over the edge of my float. “What time is it?” Annmarie was sporting her new Swatch. (For those of you who don’t know, that is a plastic, waterproof wristwatch that was a hit in the 80’s.) “It’s three o’clock.”  She answered, as I sat up.

“Oh my, gosh!” I screamed with fear as my eyes stared ahead. The buildings were barely visible. We had drifted out to sea.

                                                               Panic!

“We are gonna die!” Annmarie wailed. Instinctively, we both flipped over onto our stomachs, stuck our arms into the water and immediately paddled. However, we were met by stinging tentacles. Quickly we withdrew our arms and looked down. Fear filled my heart as I gazed at what looked like hundreds of jellyfish below, every color and size imaginable. It was unbelievable and horrifying.

“What do we do?” She questioned. “Why are there so many jellyfish!”

“We gotta paddle and get to shore.”

We had no choice, so we paddled frantically. Each stroke of my arm, was met with stings over and over. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed red whelps appearing on my skin. I tried not to think about the documentary I had seen about jellyfish, because I knew somewhere out in this vast ocean were jellyfish so poisonous they could kill you! Looking over at Annmarie, I saw the look of fear. Don’t panic, Annmarie. I know you can barely swim.  

 Overboard

As we continued to paddle, I raised my arm out of the water, exposing a huge jellyfish that had wrapped its tentacles around my arm. Screaming, I flung my arm. It flew through the air, and landed on my back. I thrashed around to knock it off as it was stinging my back. In my frantic movement I fell into the water and my float glided away. Jellyfish stung my entire body. The only thing within reach was Annmarie lying on her float. I quickly climbed on top of her back. We paddled rapidly to my float, and I relocated.

We continued heading towards shore. The further we went, the less jellyfish we saw. But then I saw the dark shadow swim under my float. As the shark passed, my heart sank. We are gonna to die out here, and my mama will never know what happened to me.

I looked to my right and felt even worse. “Annmarie don’t panic. But there’s rain coming.” I said, as I pointed. The wide wall of water moved toward us. “When it gets here, we have to hold on to each other’s float and not let go, no matter what.”

The eerie wall came closer and closer until it was upon us. Cold, hard drops beat down on us. I held tight to her float. The rain was so hard, I couldn’t see if she was still on there. “Don’t let go.” I yelled.

The rain eased up and the jellyfish either washed further out or we had passed them. So we paddled full force, even sliding down toward the bottom of our floats so our feet could kick too. I felt excited as the shore was got closer.

Giving Up

“What time is it?” I asked.

“6:30.” She sighed.

The waves were stronger as we neared the shore. As we struggled to get past them, they tried to pull us back out.

“I quit.” Annmarie stated as she laid her head on the float.

“You can’t quit! You gotta keep going.” I pleaded.

She half-whispered as her exhausted eyes blankly stared at me. “I give up”

I had only one choice. But could I do it?

Sliding into the water, I grabbed the front corner of her float. I swam pulling her along. She quit! I can’t believe she quit. But I can’t leave her. The waves continuously slapped me in the face, but I stayed focused on the shore. My arms and legs began to ache. “Just keep swimming; just keep swimming”. Lord, please help me. Then I thought about my pool. I have swam seventy laps every day this summer for no reason. Thirteen years, and never swam laps. God has prepared me for this. I am a strong swimmer. 

I swam with Annmarie in tow. After four hours, we finally reached the shore. We literally kissed the sand. I called my mama, and she frantically informed me hurricane Elena was headed our way. During the wee hours of the night, we heard a knock on our door. There was an immediate evacuation. We weren’t even allowed to get our belongings!

Focus

As I have grown older, I’ve realized life is the ocean and God is the shore. Someone can be floating along in life, happy as can be, and suddenly things go bad. You realize you are at a place in life you never thought you would be and the jellyfish, sharks, and storms (sickness, family problems, money problems …) come along and try to destroy you. Keep your eyes on God. No matter how many times you get slapped in the face by the waves of life, stay focused on Him. He has already prepared you for what is to come.

-Donna

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God’s Hands versus Mine -By Donna

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Holding my 9lb, 3oz baby boy in my arms that hot August afternoon, the furthest thing from my mind was that one day I would leave him five hundred miles from home.FullSizeRender (2)

During the twenty-one years in between I always thought of him as mine: mine to take care of, mine to teach, mine to love, mine to discipline, mine, mine, mine. He was a wonderful gift from God, who had blessed me with the job of being Travis’ mom.

Travis was the sweetest baby and child, too good to be true. Many referred to him as “smiley” because he always had a smile on his face. He was such a well-behaved child it was almost concerning. The first and only time he got in trouble at school, flicking a Cheetos puff across the room that he found on the floor during nap time, I actually got excited.  “He’s normal!!”

My Concerns

However, Travis did have a concern. It was the very same one I grew up with, extreme shyness, only his was worse than mine. As a young child, he would not play on a playground if other children were there. Many teachers expressed their concern that he “never talked”, but others rejoiced that they had one quiet child in the classroom. Watching him grow, it often broke my heart. I saw a lot of me in him. The low self-esteem, the uncomfortableness in a room full of people, even close family. I encouraged him and even tried herb supplements. Although he was an A/B student, I asked he be  retained in fifth grade in hopes that it was partially maturity. This would give him an extra year before middle school. I was wrong.

Don’t get me wrong Travis had friends and was well liked. He was voted “friendliest in fifth grade” by his peers. But they saw the smiling shell of Travis. At home, we were privileged to see the inside. Deep inside was a wonderful, hilarious, interesting personality that few were allowed to see. As was the case with me, he was often teased for his extreme quietness. But unlike me, it never seemed to bother him, and he always seemed content. He played basketball through middle and high school and graduated with honors.

Of my three children, Travis was always the one I worried about most. Being very similar in personality, I knew the “grownup” world can be challenging.  It’s easy to be taken advantage of and sometimes difficult to fit in. To this day, people continue to comment on my quiet personality.

Time for College

Travis attended community college for two years. During this time, he spent more time in his room away from us. I began sensing discontentment. He seemed almost lost with no direction, frustrated, and apathetic. About half-way into the second year, all that began to change. I could see the changes but was unaware of what was to come.

One day out of the blue, he announced, “I want to be a youth minister, and I want to go to Appalachian Bible College…in West Virginia.” Now you would think my mind would begin racing with thoughts like, you can’t do this, you don’t talk, you never even spend the night away from home, and you are going to go 500 miles away not knowing anyone? But my reply was, “Let’s get on it.” Having comparable personalities, I knew a move this bold meant it wasn’t a quick decision, and he was ready. We had three weeks before classes were to start to apply, get accepted, and take care of financial aid.

I hate to say, but he did hear a lot of negative comments like “you can’t be a minister, you don’t talk.” from some people. Several tried to detour him. But surprisingly, he stood strong and was determined to go. I would be lying if I said I had no worries. Of course, I did, I’m his mom. But during those three weeks, I kept telling myself, “God’s got this. If this is God’s plan, it will all work out.” Travis received his official acceptance letter the day before new students were to move in.

My Hands

Saturday morning Travis walked on campus with a confidence and determination he has never displayed. He had no trouble talking to anyone. He had made the right decision. I was full of joy, but unknown to him, my heart was breaking. I worried, he’s gonna have to wash his own clothes, he has no car here, will he ask for help when he needs it, and I won’t be here if he gets sick. 

After a kiss on the cheek, we embraced in a closing hug. I felt an extra strong hold from his arms. The Bible says to cast your worries on the Lord. As I watched him walk away, I silently prayed, “Lord, he’s in your hands now.”  As soon as I whispered it, I shook my head, knowing the Good Lord was laughing, for I believe He has a great sense of humor. His reply to me, “He’s always been in MY hands, NOT yours.”

That FullSizeRenderMonday in 1995 when I held that black-headed big bundle of joy, God was already seeing this day. It didn’t matter that Travis was painfully shy and withdrawn; God knew he would one day be a servant for him and when the time was right, he would take care of it…after all he is in His hands.

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Count Your Blessings -By Donna

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baby pic“I’m sorry; you will need to go ahead and get a burial plot for your daughter.” Those were the words spoken to the father of a four-month-old baby girl. She had been born with a rare aorta deformity. Her aorta had grown normally, then split in half, grown around her esophagus and back together, making a complete ring. As her esophagus had grown, the ring tightened around it causing her difficulty swallowing and breathing.

Surgery was the only option. This type of surgery wasn’t common in 1966 and had never been done on an infant this young. Despite the odds, the operation was scheduled and photographers were present to document the event for medical books and journals. After the delicate procedure was performed, the doctor’s outlook was grim. “She will not live.” The father and his wife took their three-year-old son into the baby’s hospital room so he could say goodbye to his little sister.

Proud to be Fifty

Three weeks ago on July 17, 2016, this baby girl turned 50 years old! Fifty is a major milestone in birthdays. Turning 50 often results in surprise parties, a midlife crisis and being categorized as “over the hill”. I know many women that dread the big five-o and others who won’t tell their age. I can honestly say, I’m proud to be fifty! Did my daddy buy my burial plot? Absolutely not! My parents prayed and trusted God. They had a praying church family, praying extended family and praying friends. Despite the fact many people were praying, there was no guarantee I would live. They were aware that sometimes God’s way of healing someone is to bring them home to Him. But God, the great physician, had plans for me.

50 years! Wow! Half of 100! Like most people, in fifty years I have dealt with difficult situations. Some I have experienced firsthand and others through a friend or loved one. Cancer, divorce, bankruptcy, job loss, miscarriage, car wrecks, surgery, and death are just a few of the occurrences that have reared their ugly head in my life. But God used those to make me stronger. And oh, the joys he has included in my fifty years, joys both big and small. For example, giving birth to a child, playing in the rain, watching a sunset, a dog’s love, a mother’s hug, laughing til it hurts, are just a few of the blessings I have seen.

Count Your Blessings

I have scars, a few gray hairs and wrinkles, but I am happy to reach 50! I wake up each morning and smile, knowing I am one of God’s miracles.

Time will march on; you can not stop it. But you can slow down and take notice of all God has blessed you with. Count your blessings, name them one by one.

Donna

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