About once every two months Karla and I meet and treat ourselves to pampering our piggies. As with everything else in our lives, there’s always humor involved.

It all started once when we were in need of  some girl time. So, we invited Lynn, Gail, and Julie (Karla’s sisters) to lunch.  After we ate, someone suggested we get our toes done. Now, those words alone brought a burst of laughter. It was well-known that Gail and Donna had never had a pedicure because they hate feet! Reluctantly, they agreed. One sister, who shall remain nameless, was the first to go. She plopped down into the massage chair to relax. While her feet soaked, she closed her eyes and took it all in until she heard our cackling. All of us in our early 40’s, we were learning that our bodies weren’t what they used to be. The vibrations from the massage chair were causing her arm flab to jiggle like Jell-O in her sleeveless shirt. Though we tried to mask the reason of our giggles, she sat up and loudly announced, “I know y’all are laughing at me and my arm flab!” The five of us were so loud bantering back and forth that other customers began laughing. One even noted that we had to be related and was loving our camaraderie.

Pedicure for Jail

Since getting our toes done is a luxury for us, we have learned that when we do them right before going to the beach it is usually a waste. More than once, one of our toes got messed up while walking in the sand. So, one year, we decided to have them done at a random Wal-Mart before we headed home. Like normal, we sat giggling at dumb things that no one else would find funny. A lady came in and sat down in the chair beside us. She was rather loud; there was no way to miss her conversation. As she talked, we looked at each other trying not to react too much. The more she gabbed, the more we realized she was saying something about jail. We got quieter, but our eyes were doing a lot of talking as it became clear that she was getting a pedicure before she went to jail the next day!

If You Break, You Buy

Walking inside one summer day, we were greeted with, “Pick out your color.” As usual, we began searching for a shade similar to the colors in our non-flashy range. Donna reached for a shade a little darker than her normal. Making sure the bottle was mixed to its true color, she shook it back and forth. To our surprise, it flew out of her hand, burst, and left a plum puddle at her feet!  The owner yelled, “Don’t move!” There she stood with plum pudding dripping down her legs. The man came over with a towel and began wiping her legs, before he commenced to mopping up the mess. Needless to say, she went with the more toned down color and had to throw her polish stained sandals away. A sign now graces the wall of the salon…If you break it, you buy it!

While I Wait

Recently, our wildest pedicure may have happened as we were tried out a new place. It was a bit crowded. We had already selected our colors and were awaiting our turn. A nicely dressed lady, who was probably in her 60’s, strolled in. When she inquired about the wait, she seemed deflated, but cheered herself up with this comment, “Okay then. I guess I’ll just go back to the car and smoke some weed while I wait.” Dumbfounded we stood there with our mouths hanging open!  This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, her little piggies had marijuana, but our little piggies had none! (and never have!)