I have never been one to enjoy the spotlight.  I will help do whatever, but I don’t like the lead. About seven years ago, I began singing in my church’s praise group. When the girls were younger, I sang in the choir. When I would make a musical mistake, I would find myself shaking my head. Over the years, I broke the habit since I feared people would notice my negative, recurring motions that might distract their worship. The church I attended at that time was larger, and I felt like I blended in with the thirty or so choir members. Our praise team only has about ten people, and I am expected to stand in front of a microphone. Uh, yuck!

The men in the sound booth were constantly encouraging me to step up closer to the microphone. I would shake my head no and keeping singing. Some Sundays, I would see them mouthing, “Your mic’s not on.” I would reply with a nod, a smile, my soft singing voice, and never make any attempt to flip the switch!  

Joyful Noise

As the years went on and I drew closer to the Lord, I unconsciously grew nearer to the mic. I’ve even sung a solo or two along the way.  My anxieties of being in the limelight subsided more and more. I learned to realize that I am just me, human and not perfect, when I make noticeable mistakes.

God never ceases to amaze me. I have no idea how the transformation took place, but somewhere along the way I quit thinking that I was on stage with all eyes on me, which made me feel dreadfully self-conscience. Unreserved, I began singing to the Lord, not for any person, rather making a joyful noise and praising the Lord. What a blessing!

Spring Sinuses

Recently, the praise team was leading worship through song. I was fully aware of the freedom I felt lifting my voice to the Lord. I continued song after song with devotion, not restriction.

Constantly battling with my sinuses every spring, I began coughing a little during the first song. With each song, I could feel the tickle in my throat. I sung a couple of bars; then I coughed a couple. “Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)” began as I felt a coughing attack emerging. I knew I needed to depart from the stage so I would not interrupt anyone’s worship. Just slowly put the microphone into its holder and ever so softly walk down the steps and slide out the side door.

OOPS!

I turned, eased the microphone into its clip, and tried to be invisible as I moved. However as I stepped, I felt my foot catch on the cord. Being long-legged, my stride is wider than most. I realized I was in danger of falling right there on the stage in front of everyone. Yep! That would not have interrupted anyone’s worship.

To regain my stance, my arms instinctively went outward in the “walking a tight wire balancing” motion. I did a half hop/half lunge, and I almost made it! My foot was free, but my arm had gotten looped in the upper part of the cord.  The momentum from the stumble had thrust me forward and yanked the mic onto the floor with a thud! My legs continued to toddle until I reached the steps. I felt my fingers filtering through the leaves of the plants that surround the piano as I somewhat sailed off the platform and stopped just short of the front row.

By this time, I had lost lost sight of the door.  Instead, I found myself behind a friend hiding my face. A man, who sits on the second row, had jumped forward to catch me and I heard one of the youth say, “I thought Ms. Karla was gonna take me out.”

Ain’t Nothing Going to Steal My Joy

Shaking my head, I walked to the car to get a cough drop.  Funny thing, my urge to cough had dissipated. As I neared the sanctuary, my pastor’s wife urged me to come back into the service. “Everyone’s concerned you are hurt.”

I attempted to ease back into my spot, as I realized Pastor Scott was reassuring everyone that I was okay. He stopped when he saw me. I am not sure what he said, but as an actress in a show bows, I did so as if to say “yep, I did that, but at least I am okay.”   

Sitting down, I summarized my reflections of God freeing me from self doubt while singing and how I was trying to ease out not to disturb anyone’s worship. A friend whispered to me, “Ain’t nothing going to steal your joy!”

The old me would have ran to crawl in a hole and replayed the incident repeatedly.  But the new me, restored through Jesus, decided to laugh repeatedly!