My friend Tonya was born with Turner Syndrome, which is a chromosomal abnormality that affects the development in females. Maybe you are like me and had never heard of this condition, but I know you have heard of God. Having a child was impossible, but adoption is God’s miracle.
Miracle Number One: Tonya’s Birth
Approximately ninety-eight of pregnancies with Turner Syndrome abort spontaneously. Tonya was among the two percent!
Physical Features of Turner Syndrome
- Shorter stature
- Neck with a webbed appearance and shorter
- Lower-set ears that often stick out
- Elbows with a deformity that causes them to turn outward instead of having the ability to lay flat when the arm is straightened
- Puffy feet and hands
- Low hairline
- Upturned finger and toenails
- High arched palate
- Receding lower jaw
- Large pigmented moles
- Broad shoulders
- Lessen breast growth
Medical Issues of Turner Syndrome
- Born with heart defects (often a narrowed section of the aorta)
- Aorta tearing with age
- Droopy eyes and cataracts
- Frequent ear infections that can cause hearing loss
- Kidney issues due to their horseshoe shape
- Scoliosis
- Diabetes
- Underactive thyroid (often resulting in weight gain or slower weight loss)
- Blood pressure issues
- Stomach issues like Crohn’s disease
- Lack of ovaries
Social Concerns of Turner Syndrome
- Lack of ability to understand social cues
- Low self-esteem
- Struggles with “fitting in
Cognitive Disabilities of Turner Syndrome
- Spatial misjudgments
- Nonverbal learning disabilities
- Developmental delays
- Possible behavioral problems
Tonya has some of the issues in all the above categories, but like most who have Turner Syndrome, she does not have all. When Tonya was born, doctors told her mom not to expect her to even know what a brush was used for! However, God had other plans for Tonya. I believe that is due to His supreme knowledge. He knew her heart, and He knew how she would use this heart to love others.
Education Miracles
She did know how to use a brush–and so much more! Tonya graduated from high school in 2003. God planted a love for children, so she went to Berry College and received her teaching degree in Early Childhood Education. On her 12th year of teaching, Tonya has positively affected about 900 students. She cares for them as if they were her own. As the years have gone and she has matured as a woman, the desire to be a mom has grown as well.
Miracle of Service
Moving back to her hometown, she began teaching and started serving in her church with children and youth departments. Her sweet little ears went under four surgeries to help their physical appearance and hearing abilities when she was young. As she aged, with the help of a hearing aids, she has listened, heard, and advised many girls, who needed a Christian friend, over the years.
Music Miracle
In addition, she uses her beautiful voice to minister to others. Learning to depend on others to help her in the areas of weakness, she is careful to make sure she is blending with her praise team, singing with a voice that always glorifies the Lord! Her solos leave me inspired.
Humbling to Ask for Help
Often she asks her passengers for parking help; she eases into spots careful not get too close to obstructions. She asks for assistance and reassurance from those she trusts most to compensate in the areas that Turner Syndrome has left its permanence.
About three years ago, Tonya asked me to accompany her in meeting with a Christian adoption agency. They were encouraging, sharing that they accept singles’ applications and thought Tonya would be a good candidate to adopt. Hearing the process, I became hopeful that this could in fact be a reality for Tonya to become a mom!
However, when we left, Tonya and I discussed the money part of adoption and how this would be the biggest obstacle. She reviewed her finances as we ate lunch. Overwhelmed but enthusiastic, we prayed. As the years past, she continued to pray for God’s will and His timing.
Miracle of Love
In July of 2018, Tonya came for a visit with a tone and facial expression that could hardly be contained. Her announcement has become among the most precious miracles I have personally ever seen develop. An older teen-ager, who needed a home was taken in by a family friend. Over the years, she gave birth to a child. The family continued to provide a home for both the girl and her baby. As the girl matured and cared for her own child, she continued to have a steady, loving relationship with the couple who was providing for them.
When her first child was around two, she became pregnant again. Being a loving mother, she knew she could not care for both children. She prayed and sought Godly wisdom. It was then that Tonya’s name entered the scene. The single mother knew in her head and heart that Tonya would be the best mom for her baby. She and the foster family continued to pray as they kept the possibility to themselves. As the days went by, the reality of her baby continued to develop. In the lady’s final trimester, Tonya was asked a question that only a mother, who truly loves her child, would ask.
Would you take my child and raise her as your own?
I worried more than Tonya that the girl might change her mind, and who could blame her! It takes unselfish love to sacrifice for your child.
Tonya shared that she concluded her two choices: Exist with worry for the next twelve weeks living guarded, or freely enjoy every moment on this possible path God was unfolding
So, enjoy she did, going to every doctor’s visit and buying necessities. Praying for the little girl’s lungs to fully develop, her nails to completely form, and perhaps to even find her thumb to suck as she progressed in pounds and length, she delighted. Tonya also prayed for the mother’s health and her emotional well-being. While others worried; she rejoiced for the upcoming birth of a newborn.
Insurance Blessing
Her insurance allowed her to not only have maternity-leave, but they also covered a room at the hospital for Tonya and Baby Evie to share! When she was born, the nurses helped both mom and baby transition and bond.
Walking into the hospital the day after Evie was born, I was the one who could not contain my tone or facial expressions. In fact, the realization of the Lord’s grace left me almost shaking in awe.
Holding little Evie, tears rolled down my face. I look to my precious friend, whose face held the glow of a new mother. While I was comprehending what was taking place, she had already accepted the magnitude of God’s gift that she had been granted.
Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalms37:4
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.” Jeremiah 29:11-12
On a recent trip, Karla and I took a walk down the sandy shores of Panama City Beach. As we strolled, we talked about many things. On this particular day, Satan was accusing me of being a bad parent. This is a fear that haunts me daily and torments me when I allow it. Feeling broken, I bared my soul to my dear friend. We would occasionally stop and pick up a seashell that drew our attention. Through my teary eyes, I searched that sandy beach for the perfect shell.