Summer Exchange Program

During the summers of my teenage years, I spent a week at Donna’s house, and she spent a week at mine. We commonly refer to these moments as our summer exchange program. Oh, the stories we can tell of those adventures, and the friendship that began.

One of our favorite things was the moments when we gained some independence. Donna’s mom Nikki decided it was okay for us to go by ourselves to Shannon Mall near their home in Fayetteville, Georgia. Dennis, her brother, would drop us off, and our freedom began! At least we thought; years later we found out he spied on our friendship like big brothers do.  

People Watching

With little money, we rarely bought anything but an ice cream. Those were some fun times sitting on the benches analyzing people’s hairstyles, outfits, or actions. I would like to say we were not being judgmental, but by definition, we probably were.

Donna usually used her “soft voice” laugh ,while I have a rambunctious chuckle. No wonder I usually got called down more often. At some point, we would decided covering our mouths with a piece of paper or napkin if possible would be a secret way of talking about others. If we did not have either of those items, we began to whisper talk out of the side of our mouths, which became a trademark for us. Yep, we still do it sometimes. Honestly though, maybe it was not as judgmental as it sounds. I believe we were two young, innocent girls trying to figure out the world around us; honestly, we were a little shocked at times!

As I licked my chocolate cake cone and Donna her butter-pecan sugar cone, one of us would mouth, “Look, coming from the left. Hair. Slowly turn your head.” The other would try to nonchalantly swirl her head in that direction. Then we would both try to keep ourselves from bursting out in laughter. It was almost like a game to see who could find the most outlandish situation. We sat there analyzing mohawks, puffy sleeves, big hair teased into a mountain, Madonna look-a-likes, shorts, leg warmers, or turquoise triangle earrings. Then our game would progress to new heights when we would share a crazy comparison. Again with the lips glued on one side and spewing in whispers on the other, “Look, here come Mr. Jefferson struttin’ by us. I think he just stole Mr. T’s gold chains!”

Figuring It Out, Together

Donna and I often still find ourselves trying to critique others, but somewhere over the years, our analyzing has moved more from fashion to the behaviors of others. Life is filled with moments that leaves a person pondering. So, now we mostly help each other sort out the motives of others, whose behavior is not acceptable or who have done hurtful things.

We have all had strangers, coworkers, and even family members, who do things that did not seem to make any sense. We are left, trying to process the situation. Donna and I call each other and discuss it, shake our heads, laugh about it, and sort it out as to why in the world the person would have chosen the words or actions they did. Sometimes these situations have been a brief moment in time. However, other incidents have taken weeks, months, or even years to walk through. For decades, we have relied on the other to navigate life.

We all Need Someone

Everyone needs a Donna friendship in their life. 

• A Christian friend who will listen to you say anything, knowing sometimes you just need to get it off your chest or out of your mind
• That true confidant, who will interrupt you when needed and gently guide you back on course
• The buddy, who helps me see the other side of the coin, even when you don’t want to 
• A honest companion, who will teasingly call you a “pompous-butt princess” when you are acting too uppity

Donna, thanks for listening to my woes over the year, and thanks for helping me figure out how to handle many, many situations over the years. In fact, thanks for taking me to Waffle House to eat raisin toast for the first time. And thanks for bringing me back to my youth, talking out of the corners of our mouths about the man in the purple jacket. Thank you for being a friend!