Monthly Archives: October 2017

Original or Extra Crispy? -By Karla

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I have often said, “If there were lines in Heaven where people gather personality traits before we came into this world, I missed a few booths and went to others twice.” Like mom, it could be said that I might be late for my own funeral. In fact, I probably didn’t even see the booth marked “punctuality”, and just got into the “generosity” line a second time.

Today for instance, my friend Jenni called asking for a little favor. Her family has done so many things for the girls and me over the past five years. While we do things for them as well, I am not sure I can ever repay the care they have given us. Being an honorary Nana to her children is a blessing that keeps on giving.

Thus, there was not an ounce of hesitation on my part when she asked a favor. Her car had been towed to the shop in town. She had forgotten a few things in it and asked if I would bring them to her after school.

“Sure thing!” I continued by offering to pick up anything else she might need for our church’s trunk-or-treat while I was in town also. “I have after school tutoring, then I will run the errands and be there.”

“Running around like a chicken with my head cut off” was a common phrase Mom used to say to me. Organization is another booth I missed out on. Trying to plan the best route for my errands, I started walking to the car. Man, I have got to go to the bathroom. I should have gone before I left the building. I can’t get back in! Walking a little faster to the car, I decided I would make that my first stop inside the store.  On the way I swung by the bank to make a deposit.

This particular ATM is a walk-up with no run-through option, so I patiently waited for my turn. The sky is so pretty.  Just enjoy the moment in the sun. Don’t stress; the car place does not close for another hour.  You have time. Often when I step into the sunlight a sneeze hits me. I felt it coming. If I could just get back to my car and sit down, I would be fine! But nope! The sneeze came and so did a little pee. Well, that is just great! Got to love being a woman when you hit fifty!

Strategically, I ran into Kmart to get my prescription after a quick trip to the bathroom. Then I got a text from Jenni.  “Can you add a white boa to my list? I need it for my chicken costume for tomorrow night.” Well, a person doesn’t get that request often!

Sending a thumbs up emoji, I darted toward the Halloween costumes and the dress-up clothes, but no luck. Next, the Ford place and on to Walmart.

“Are you two together?” the man behind the desk asked me pointing to a gentleman waiting in line.

I bet he hopes not since I might have a pee stain on my pants! Luckily, he politely said no.

“I have a friend who had her Ford Suburban towed here, and I need to get a something out of it for her.”

Both men laughed. “Probably not since a Suburban is a Chevy. Maybe an Expedition?”

“Ugh, yea. Probably.” I added Jenni’s name. “It had to be towed here last night.”

He looked up the location of her car and said, “Follow me please, but be careful in here. The guys leave lots of things laying around.”

I didn’t get in the “graceful” line either.  “If I fall, I promise to get right back up,” I tried to smile. “I pray I do not smell like urine.”

Not smiling, he asked, “Where are you from?”

“Here for the last twenty-five years, but originally from Blue Ridge, GA.

That seems like a random question? Why did he ask me that? Is he flirting with me?

“What did you say your name was? I guess you aren’t stealing anything.”

“I am Karla. Jenni and I are really good friends.” I said as I jumped  into the back seat rummaging around. It was about that time when I realized how dumb I was about to look. “Here it is!” I bellowed as I came up with an empty KFC bucket.

Confusion covered his entire face.

“It goes with the chicken costume for tonight’s trunk-or-treat! I guess if he was flirting with me and the pee stain did not deter him, the empty KFC bucket just did!

Walking to my car, my phone buzzed again. “Can you get two more things for me…”

“Excuse me sir. May I go back and get the baby carrier and the bread maker?” I so tried not to laugh.

If Mom could see me now…running around like a chicken with my head cut off and carrying a chicken bucket!

The things we do for those we love!

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Laughter: LOL. -By Donna

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    “Giggles, Thank you for visiting Shorter College…” was how the letter I received began, after Karla and I toured the school in 1986.  And oh my did we get a look that day from Mama because of those giggles, but that’s another blog. I love to laugh and I have spent a lot of my life chuckling.  However, laughing at myself was not something I was able to do.  Embarrassment always took over, and I always worried about what others thought of me.   

    The first Sunday after moving to a new house, I misjudged the distance to my church. On the way, I realized how much further the drive was now and I would be ten or fifteen minutes late! I knew Satan would love for me to turn around and go home, so I decided I was going regardless. Walking across the parking lot I decided, being the braver new me, to speak to a man who was also late. “Better late than never!” His reply, “Yes, ma’am.”

   As I walked up the front steps, he allowed me to go first. He then opened the doors for me and said, “Perfect timing!” As I looked, they were doing the “turn around and shake someone’s hand.” Oh, thank you. Now it won’t be as obvious that I am late and people won’t be staring at me. I slid in about four rows from the back and began shaking hands with the people in front of me. Although we had now begun singing, I felt hands on my shoulders. I turned around and a lady leaned in and whispered, “Your skirt is up in the back.” I nonchalantly pulled it down and said, “Thank you.”

“Why didn’t he tell me?”

    Yep, I had walked in with a man behind me and was standing in church with my skirt tail up. I shook my head and grinned to myself. Thoughts filled my head. Why didn’t he tell me? He must have been embarrassed to say anything. What color underwear do I have on? Yellow with white flowers. Oh, you just think you are going to distract me today, Satan. I casually glanced back to see how many men were sitting in the three rows behind me. Then I realized how in the past I would have been devastated, probably to the point of not coming back. I would have worried myself crazy that people were laughing or talking about me. But although embarrassing, I was able to laugh at myself. I know I am far from perfect, but that is OK because I am secure in God’s love. He made me who I am, and I am the only one that can be me.

Laughter is a Gift

     We live in a fallen world, and if we are going to survive it, we need to laugh along the way. There are times when we should be serious, but sometimes to face the day we need to laugh at ourselves. (Proverbs 15:15) “All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.” God gave us the ability to laugh. It is a gift from Him. He knew how important laughter would be and how it can benefit us physically, mentally, and spiritually. God doesn’t want us to just live; He wants us enjoying life.

    Your happiness is a witness for Christ. When life is tough, laugh and have joy. People will notice the gladness in your heart and wonder where it comes from. “Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, ‘The Lord hath done great thing for them.’ (Psalm 126:2)

    My favorite Bible verse is Proverbs 31:25 “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” Recently, I have had to find humor in the unknown future. We can all do that because God exists and He keeps his promises.–Donna

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“No, Karla, You Get To!” -By Karla

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I have hosted a small group Bible study in my home for almost five years, and we have formed a close bond. Last summer one of them mentioned going to the beach together. So, that October we were off on a long weekend adventure, had a blast, and began planning for this year the minute we pulled out the condo complex, where we had stayed.

Is It Worth All the Hassle?

As the October holiday approached this year, so did the hurricanes. Several friends looked at me like I was crazy when I told them I was headed closer to the storm. I quietly wondered if we would need to cancel, but I was so busy that I left the decision up to the rest of the group. They said go. For me, there were several factors:

  • It’s 9:30
  • I am just getting home from taking things to Rach in Atlanta,
  • It’s such a long drive there, a little over 700 miles round trip
  • I have so much school work to do
  • I haven’t even packed
  • It’s a lot of money for a short time.

Decision Made 

Meeting at my house at five o’clock, the five of us loaded suitcases, a cooler (packed with homemade chicken salad, waters, and of course, chocolate), computers for a little work, and seaside apparel.

Avoiding the five o’clock Atlanta traffic, we routed ourselves through Rome (Olive Garden with Donna) and hit Highway 27 southbound. The trip seemed longer than usual because of my recent tiredness and excitement to get there. So, I started wailing like a child and asked often, “Are we there yet?”

Never Too Old for a Road Trip Game

We giggled, and I proceeded to share a game that I had played on trips with the girls when they were young.

“My father owns a grocery store, and in his store, he owns something that begins with the letter –.” The other players ask yes or no questions until the mystery is solved. During the game, someone’s father got wealthy and must have owned a Super Walmart because hammers and fish tanks were added to the items for sale.

As we rolled on, we switched thoughts, “Do you remember the TV show ‘Chico and the Man’?”

Hey, “What about the ‘Rookies’”?

“What about ‘Sigmund and the Sea Monster?’” Then I proceeded to share the story of how I was once talking to a missionary and asked if he had seen that show, Semen and the Sea Monster!

We had laughed so much that it was time for a bathroom break, and a snack. Climbing back into the van, we continued. Games, laughter, stories, laughter, stop for a potty break, grab a snack, and repeat until 1am.

What Happens on a Girl’s Road Trip . . .

When we got there, we were quite saddened to discover that the Pirate Festival that had been where we stayed this same weekend last year had been canceled due to the weather. Yes, really, a pirate festival! Not our cup of tea, but it did provide some fun conversations.

We planted ourselves on the beach for about four hours Saturday enjoying blue skies. I walked feeling the sand between my toes and jumped the rough waves for at least an hour. But, I have never felt such an undertow! I kept a watchful eye on my friends lounging in their chairs so not to worry them. At one point while trying to move back nearer to them, they swear I was swimming without moving an inch!

Did I Mention It Was Windy?

The evenings were spent playing games and eating snacks: popcorn and chocolate, chips and salsa, smoothies and fresh baked bread with butter and jelly! The games, Like Wise and ImaginIff, brought some hoots and hollers of laughter. One of the questions was “name a cheesy town”. The other four ladies cleverly wrote Green Bay. I was struggling a bit, and invented Velveetaville. The reply to this was, “Hey, I think I know that song,” and she started singing only to discover the words were Margaritaville!

Important to Note: And if you ever play and have the category of gross things at the circus do not answer the bearded lady, elephant dung is the most popular answer.

How wonderful to have friends that want to pray with you and laugh with you too. What a blast we had and a bond we made.

Hard Choices

Mom had some famous words in our house. Often my three sisters and I would say, “Mom, do I have to?”

Her reply was always the same, “No, Karla, you get to.”

Packing my things for Thursday night at 10:30, I thought how some people would think over 700 miles for just two full days at the beach was crazy, especially when one of the days is forecast to be a total wash out.

But, packing, I looked up and smiled, “Yes, Mom, I get to go to the beach.”

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Surviving: “The Search is Over” by Survivor – By Donna

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I had a month to pack up twenty-seven years of stuff and find a place to live.  September 30th was my deadline.  Every few days I went by two local realty companies for an updated list of available houses to rent.  First, I marked out those that read “no pets” and others I was concerned were out of my budget.  With few remaining on the list, I would ask for keys and venture to have a look.  Being afraid to walk into empty houses alone, (maybe I’ve seen too many mystery movies) I would call Karla and give her a verbal tour of each room.

Purple People Eater

In my starting price range, I saw some pretty rough houses in nerve-racking areas.  At the very first house, I believe the Purple People Eater had taken a bath there.  The entire tub had a purple stain, and a big one where his head would have laid. So after a couple of houses, I gave myself a little higher allowance.

Sometimes Karla would drive down and join me in my search.  Even with the 100 dollars increase in rent, we saw some sketchy places.  The first thing we saw at one house was a blood stain on the floor, or so we thought!  Not to mention the hardwoods in other rooms looked as if someone had a bonfire in the middle of the floor. One home was so bad that I stopped walking, looked at Karla and said, “I’m going no further. You can do what you want, but I’m out of here!” 

No matter how bad they were, Karla always tried to be optimistic and point out the positives she noticed. Though often her face was saying something totally different than her mouth!

Time Was Ticking

In the evenings when I wasn’t filling boxes, I was surfing the web on every rental site that exists. With only a week to go, I decided to open my mind to other possibilities like an apartment or a duplex.  Nothing is wrong with them. I have just lived in the middle of 40 wooded acres for almost 30 years.   love the trees and especially the lake I see as I look out the window every day. And Carlton, the dog, adores the yard to run in. But time was ticking.

A blessing came my way when some wonderful people offered to help with the rent so that I could go up in price, find a safe area, and something a little nicer. So Wednesday, Karla came down, and we went to look at another house and an apartment, both in better areas. We went to the apartment first. It was nice, roomy, and had three bedrooms. The carpet was filthy, but I knew the real estate company would clean it. There was a sliver of yard. I had finally found a possibility.

Next was the house. It was a cute, old restored house, downtown. It had all I desired: three bedrooms, a kitchen that included all appliances, and a small yard for Carlton. But we quickly discovered it must have been the residence of Roy G. Biv. The house was blue, and the brick wall was red. The kitchen and dining area were bright yellow and the bedroom lime green. The den was florescent orange! We never saw the indigo or violet, but I’m sure it was there somewhere. Now I had two possibilities! But I wanted the house, with a fresh coat of paint. I called the real estate company the next morning and was told to hurry and turn in my application because many people were interested in that house. So, I did and I prayed for that house.

On Thursday, I got a call and it had been narrowed down to one other person and me. They had a few questions for each of us before making their decision. I waited all day and heard nothing. So at the end of the day, I called and was told I wasn’t chosen. I never panicked and when friends asked if I had found a place, I would just smile and say, “Moving day is Saturday, and nope I don’t know where I’m going.” I knew God knew where I was going and He had a plan. 

5 Hours to Go

Friday was a teacher workday, and the last day to find a place since I had to to move Saturday. The offices closed at 5 so I was down to 5 hours! After lunch I didn’t have to return to school, so I planned to go straight to claim the apartment I really didn’t want. However a friend invited me to lunch for her birthday, which I had forgotten with all that was going on! On the way to the restaurant, I decided to run in the other realty place to grab a flyer. They weren’t in their usual spot. I asked the receptionist, and she said they had just been printed and handed me one and I threw it in the car.

After lunch, I went to sign the lease for the apartment. But the lady informed me that the apartment would not be ready for two weeks, unless I wanted to clean the carpets myself. I decided to think about it because they were really nasty and I didn’t know if they would dry by morning. Sitting in the car knowing I only had two hours to find a place to live, I picked up the paper and saw they had added one new house to the rental list. Well, might as well check it out. I ran and got the keys and hurried to see it. The minute I walked in the door I knew it was the one! I called the lady to tell her I wanted it, and I was on the way over to do the paper work.

“OH, I can’t do it today!  It’s Friday afternoon, the end of the month, and we are swamped.” she said. My heart sank as I sat there in stunned silence, knowing I had to move somewhere tomorrow. Suddenly her tone changed, and she said, “Well, if you can come now, I’ll do it.”

God’s Timing

While I sat waiting on her to write up the lease, the receptionist said, “You are lucky. We just put that house on the list right before you came and got the paper. Since you took the keys, four people have called wanting it.”

At 4:30 I signed the lease! I knew it wasn’t luck. It was God. He never fails me. He did wait until the last possible minute, but it had to be His timing not mine. I have a cute little home that has a nice backyard with a deck and lots of trees. It is 200 dollars less than Roy G. Biv’s house! 

And God even gave me a view of a lake!

-Donna

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