Original or Extra Crispy? -By Karla

I have often said, “If there were lines in Heaven where people gather personality traits before we came into this world, I missed a few booths and went to others twice.” Like mom, it could be said that I might be late for my own funeral. In fact, I probably didn’t even see the booth marked “punctuality”, and just got into the “generosity” line a second time.

Today for instance, my friend Jenni called asking for a little favor. Her family has done so many things for the girls and me over the past five years. While we do things for them as well, I am not sure I can ever repay the care they have given us. Being an honorary Nana to her children is a blessing that keeps on giving.

Thus, there was not an ounce of hesitation on my part when she asked a favor. Her car had been towed to the shop in town. She had forgotten a few things in it and asked if I would bring them to her after school.

“Sure thing!” I continued by offering to pick up anything else she might need for our church’s trunk-or-treat while I was in town also. “I have after school tutoring, then I will run the errands and be there.”

“Running around like a chicken with my head cut off” was a common phrase Mom used to say to me. Organization is another booth I missed out on. Trying to plan the best route for my errands, I started walking to the car. Man, I have got to go to the bathroom. I should have gone before I left the building. I can’t get back in! Walking a little faster to the car, I decided I would make that my first stop inside the store.  On the way I swung by the bank to make a deposit.

This particular ATM is a walk-up with no run-through option, so I patiently waited for my turn. The sky is so pretty.  Just enjoy the moment in the sun. Don’t stress; the car place does not close for another hour.  You have time. Often when I step into the sunlight a sneeze hits me. I felt it coming. If I could just get back to my car and sit down, I would be fine! But nope! The sneeze came and so did a little pee. Well, that is just great! Got to love being a woman when you hit fifty!

Strategically, I ran into Kmart to get my prescription after a quick trip to the bathroom. Then I got a text from Jenni.  “Can you add a white boa to my list? I need it for my chicken costume for tomorrow night.” Well, a person doesn’t get that request often!

Sending a thumbs up emoji, I darted toward the Halloween costumes and the dress-up clothes, but no luck. Next, the Ford place and on to Walmart.

“Are you two together?” the man behind the desk asked me pointing to a gentleman waiting in line.

I bet he hopes not since I might have a pee stain on my pants! Luckily, he politely said no.

“I have a friend who had her Ford Suburban towed here, and I need to get a something out of it for her.”

Both men laughed. “Probably not since a Suburban is a Chevy. Maybe an Expedition?”

“Ugh, yea. Probably.” I added Jenni’s name. “It had to be towed here last night.”

He looked up the location of her car and said, “Follow me please, but be careful in here. The guys leave lots of things laying around.”

I didn’t get in the “graceful” line either.  “If I fall, I promise to get right back up,” I tried to smile. “I pray I do not smell like urine.”

Not smiling, he asked, “Where are you from?”

“Here for the last twenty-five years, but originally from Blue Ridge, GA.

That seems like a random question? Why did he ask me that? Is he flirting with me?

“What did you say your name was? I guess you aren’t stealing anything.”

“I am Karla. Jenni and I are really good friends.” I said as I jumped  into the back seat rummaging around. It was about that time when I realized how dumb I was about to look. “Here it is!” I bellowed as I came up with an empty KFC bucket.

Confusion covered his entire face.

“It goes with the chicken costume for tonight’s trunk-or-treat! I guess if he was flirting with me and the pee stain did not deter him, the empty KFC bucket just did!

Walking to my car, my phone buzzed again. “Can you get two more things for me…”

“Excuse me sir. May I go back and get the baby carrier and the bread maker?” I so tried not to laugh.

If Mom could see me now…running around like a chicken with my head cut off and carrying a chicken bucket!

The things we do for those we love!

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