During our college years, Karla and I were partiers! Well, maybe not like you are thinking. We loved a good pity party. I used to send her invitations to the “Donna Turner Pity Party!” Of course, once we unloaded all our complaints and feelings on each other, we usually laughed and moved on.

Valentine’s Day

One Valentine’s Day we decided to invite our boyfriends over to our dorm apartment for a “romantic” dinner. It was all planned. We pushed our desks together and covered them with a white table cloth. We even had a centerpiece and candle. Love songs played on the radio and we ordered dinners from the local steakhouse. At the last minute, Karla’s fellow cancelled. So, I spent the evening eating a romantic dinner in the den, while Karla sat on the bedroom floor alone wallowing in self-pity.

Anger

This spring, I had an incident that upset me. I felt like my go-with-the-flow personality was taken advantage of. A week later, a totally unrelated event upset me, to the point of anger. Anger is not an emotion I possess very often, and crying is something I rarely do. This day I was crying out of anger.

Later that day, I drove to Karla’s. Driving alone gave me time to mull it all over and I became very offended. The more I thought, the more agitated I got. I am always nice to people. and I always show respect, when others don’t. Don’t I always do what I am told? I went on and on in my little mind. Why do people run over me. Because they know I will not pitch a fit. I’ll be nice no matter what.

Self-pity Train

By the time I got to Karla’s, I was on a self-pity train. I am a nice person. I’m nice to everyone. How can people treat me this way? Who gets treated like this? As I arrived and stepped out of the car, it was as if I audibly heard a whisper, “Jesus.”

“Oh.” I said, shaking my head at myself. Jesus, the most loving, caring man that ever lived, was treated terribly. Others mocked, spat upon and much worse. But, He did not complain. He continued to focus on others not himself. There I was feeling sorry for myself and having a pity party. The definition of pity party is: self-absorbed unhappiness over one’s own troubles. Self-pity comes from the wrong belief that “I don’t deserve being treated like this.”

While we can’t always control how we are treated, we can control our attitude. We have the choice to respond by trusting God.