A few Sundays ago, Karla and I went to my daddy’s. We stayed much longer than we anticipated and were driving back late. It was approximately 10:53 and we had seven minutes to make it to our favorite snack destination…Baskin Robbins. We sped up 75 north to beat the clock, but sadly, we arrived at 11:00. No pralines and crème for me. Karla insisted we needed a late-night snack and I agreed. However, we didn’t want fast food. My reply was, “Well, your choices are limited. It’s pretty much IHOP or Waffle House.”

IHop

Of course, she immediately asked Siri where the nearest IHOP was, and we headed in that direction. “I don’t do Waffle House.” She said with a snarl.  Now I’ve eaten at Waffle House probably a kazillion times. Many late-night basketball games took my family there. “Karla, they make some great hot chocolate.”  I secretly was hoping for Waffle House but knew we would not go there.

We walked into IHOP and sat in the waiting area. A couple sat across from us and said, “I hope y’all don’t mind waiting. The other people, who were sitting with us, just left. We have been here for a while.” We glanced around. There weren’t many customers; we saw no waitresses. But Karla said, “We will wait.” So, we sat and sat. The man across from us pulled out his phone and asked Siri the phone number to IHOP. He grinned as his cell called. The phone sitting on the counter beside us preceded to ring, and ring and ring and ring. We looked at each other with tired eyes, got up, and left.

Waffle House

Back on the interstate, we saw a Waffle House sign. “Just go there!” she said.

“No, we can keep driving and look for another IHOP,,” I said. But as she googled we realized not all IHOPs stay open twenty-four hours. Her stomach could take no more, and we pulled into a Waffle House.

Walking in, we plopped down in the first booth. Karla glanced around apprehensively. Looking across at me she sighed with aversion. Our waitress came and greeted us laying the menus on the table. As she walked off Karla pointed at hers. A long black hair graced the front!

Rolling my eyes, I commented, “Just reach over there, and get another one.”

She put that one back, picked a different one, and grimaced, “It’s sticky.”

I stared her in the eyes and said, “Stop being a pompous-butt-princess!” After a moment of silence from shock, she burst out laughing. Then we began the giggling that always happens when we are exhausted.

Hot Toddy?

Our waitress asked what we would like to drink. I ordered hot chocolate. She returned quickly with our beverages, sat them down, and walked off. I looked at my cup of hot tea. “Didn’t I ask for hot chocolate?”

“Yes, you did. Send it back,” Karla motioned.

“No, I’ll just drink it.” But I really wanted my hot chocolate. The tea was so blah. So, when she came back I politely said, “I ordered hot chocolate.”

She replied, “That’s what I fixed you.” I looked confused and she continued, “You ordered a hot toddy and that’s what I gave you. It has tea, lemon…”

“A hot toddy!” I interrupted. “Doesn’t that have alcohol in it? You put alcohol in my tea?”

“No, I left that out.”

“I said hot chocolate, not a hot toddy.”

“Ok, I’ll bring you a hot chocolate too.”

“Karla, turn around.” I whisper yelled out of the side of my mouth.

In walked a very strangely dressed couple. The girl was dressed like a provocative cheerleader complete with fish-net  hose. The guy had on a purple satin jacket and no shirt! As they stood talking, he slid his jacket down resting it on his forearms, exposing his upper body. It was then we could see the gold sequin vest. He stood like that the entire time he talked as if that was his norm.

Hot Chocolate to Go?

We tried not to get tickled but, we did. As we sat their laughing, a different waitress came over, sat a Styrofoam cup in front of me, and said, “Here’s your hot chocolate to go.” I didn’t order it to go. I looked  confused and she asked, “Is it too early?” and she walked away

When she walked off, we shook our heads.  Karla laughed, “This whole dinner was a little bizarre! I told you I don’t do Waffle House.”

Over the fifty years we’ve known each other, we’ve never eaten at a Waffle House together. And I’m guessing it’ll be another fifty before I get her to go back with me. However, she did admit she liked the raisin toast and apple butter!