Pity-Party: It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want to

During our college years, Karla and I were partiers! Well, maybe not like you are thinking. We loved a good pity party. I used to send her invitations to the “Donna Turner Pity Party!” Of course, once we unloaded all our complaints and feelings on each other, we usually laughed and moved on.

Valentine’s Day

One Valentine’s Day we decided to invite our boyfriends over to our dorm apartment for a “romantic” dinner. It was all planned. We pushed our desks together and covered them with a white table cloth. We even had a centerpiece and candle. Love songs played on the radio and we ordered dinners from the local steakhouse. At the last minute, Karla’s fellow cancelled. So, I spent the evening eating a romantic dinner in the den, while Karla sat on the bedroom floor alone wallowing in self-pity.

Anger

This spring, I had an incident that upset me. I felt like my go-with-the-flow personality was taken advantage of. A week later, a totally unrelated event upset me, to the point of anger. Anger is not an emotion I possess very often, and crying is something I rarely do. This day I was crying out of anger.

Later that day, I drove to Karla’s. Driving alone gave me time to mull it all over and I became very offended. The more I thought, the more agitated I got. I am always nice to people. and I always show respect, when others don’t. Don’t I always do what I am told? I went on and on in my little mind. Why do people run over me. Because they know I will not pitch a fit. I’ll be nice no matter what.

Self-pity Train

By the time I got to Karla’s, I was on a self-pity train. I am a nice person. I’m nice to everyone. How can people treat me this way? Who gets treated like this? As I arrived and stepped out of the car, it was as if I audibly heard a whisper, “Jesus.”

“Oh.” I said, shaking my head at myself. Jesus, the most loving, caring man that ever lived, was treated terribly. Others mocked, spat upon and much worse. But, He did not complain. He continued to focus on others not himself. There I was feeling sorry for myself and having a pity party. The definition of pity party is: self-absorbed unhappiness over one’s own troubles. Self-pity comes from the wrong belief that “I don’t deserve being treated like this.”

While we can’t always control how we are treated, we can control our attitude. We have the choice to respond by trusting God. 

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Making Decisions: God with Us -By Karla

In December 1995, mom called. “How are you feeling, darlin’?” She knew that it was the last day of school before Christmas break.

I only had one month left before my daughter Rachel was born. Being busy with the holidays, teaching middle schoolers, and being a wife and a mom, I was tired to say the least. “Mom, honestly, I am beat. I think I could sleep for a week, but I have shopping and several things left to do.” 

                 I was hoping for some sympathy. 

However in Mom’s true form, she helped me get a grip on things. “Well, think how tired Mary must have been riding a donkey for miles. She was about to give birth to Jesus many years ago, Sweetheart.”

 

“Umm, yes, you have a good point.” Quickly, my perspective totally changed, and I didn’t feel much like I needed sympathy anymore.

There’s always something to complain about. What if I had continued to focus on how tired I was? I would have missed out on the last few weeks of Rachel developing or the joy of the Christmas season. In fact, there are bigger “what if’s” that affects so much more!

What if?

What if Mary had said, “I’m too afraid, God; choose someone else please.” Joseph could have said, “This will be too hard, God, everyone will talk, and I will be shunned as well.” The shepherds had a choice: Follow the star? In addition, the Wise Men could have decided to tell King Herod of baby Jesus’ whereabouts? What if the disciples had not gone out into the world sharing the gospel. What if Christ had not said, “Thy will be done.”

The longer I live the more I have seen how all choices affect others: spouses, children, extended family, church, workplace, and community.

From a lowly manger He was born to become the King of all Kings. He made the choice to die on the cross for my wrongdoings. Because of my choice to accept Him as my Savior, He gave His Holy Spirit to guide me. What if, I had not made that choice?

 

Emmanuel, means God with us. The Holy Spirit is with me when I need help making decisions.

What if you haven’t made that choice? Make it today.

Happy birthday, Jesus!

 

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Mary’s Viewpoint: If You Could Be… -By Donna

“If you could be anyone in history, who would you be?”

I was asked that question when I was about eleven years old. My immediate answer was “Mary”. How cool I thought to be the mother of Jesus, to be chosen by God to have his son. However, my childlike faith could see no deeper.

I am the proud mother of three grown children. Each birth was amazing. Holding and nursing a child produces such a bond between a mother and child. Your desire is to love, teach, and protect them. When they were little, “mama” could fix anything. Sometimes just a Band-aid or a kiss would do the job, but as they got older, the protecting got more difficult.

Seeing your child hurt, whether physically or emotionally is heart-wrenching. I have helplessly observed my child in the hospital roasting from a 105 degree temperature, being x-rayed for a possible broken bone, or falling and scraping his entire face. All the hugs and love I gave could not fix their physical pain. I have watched as a first-love broke her heart in two, a friend betrayed her, or a coach humiliated him. My encouraging words or love could not mend their brokenness at the time.

Mary’s Viewpoint

Recently enjoying a Christmas program, I thought of Mary. Mary, who cradled Jesus in her arms, taught him, loved him, and protected him. I thought of her as she watched her baby boy be tied up and flogged until his skin was an unrecognizable mass of bleeding tissue. The tears she must have shed as he was ridiculed, spit on, and mocked. When the crown of thorns was pressed into his brow and the blood ran down his divine face, how she must have wept. I cannot imagine the pain with which her heart was bursting as she stood at Golgotha watching her son. She was helpless as Jesus was nailed to the cross, forgiving those who were hurting him, and breathing his last breath.

However, as an adult, I would not answer the question with the same eagerness as I did when I was young. Did Mary know what was to come as she nestled baby Jesus close to her bosom. “Mary, Did You Know?”

I doubt the angel that visited Mary so long ago, shared with her that the crucifixion was a part of her baby’s plan. Just as we know not what the future holds for our children. But just like Mary, we know that God is in control. She had to surrender and trust His plan for Jesus, as we must for our own. No matter the pain our precious children endure, God is in control.

-Donna

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