During the summer, being a teacher, I get the luxury of sleeping late, or just lying there enjoying the birds chirping. This morning around 7:40 my phone “beeped” the familiar text sound. My first thought was, “who in the world is texting me this early?” (This  is funny because the normal school early for me is 5:30 am.)  I rolled over, slid on my reading glasses, and pulled up the text.  It read, “Good Morning. Have a great summer! I appreciate you!” Then it was followed by this picture. I smiled. And honestly, it made me feel good about myself. A simple compliment can do wonders for someone who needs it. Words are so important. Maybe As parents, we should ask ourselves, when was the last time we complimented our children?  

The Words of Parents

Being a parent is very difficult, no matter what stage our child is in. We become overwhelmed, tired, and frustrated. At times, children can be little pests, annoying, and a pain in the derriere! I’m speaking as a parent and a teacher. BUT, please be aware of the words you say to your child. I am not saying scolding a child is wrong. Children need that. My mama was strict! She would not hesitate to speak firmly to one of us three, her nieces or nephews, or our friends if she felt necessary. If you were in our home, you were fair game! But never in those moments did she ever speak rudely, or say things that made us feel unloved or unwanted. 

“I Can’t Stand Y’all”

 In the Dollar General store recently, a mother came in with her two children, around ages 8 and 4. Walking in the door she complained, “Just shut up! Y’all drive me crazy. I can’t stand ya’ll. Y’all are gonna kill me.” I thought to myself. “Lady, what if God decided to take you later today? Do you know what that 10-year-old might think? The entire time in the store, she constantly badgered them with negativity. I have no idea what happened in the car. Maybe it was the usual brother sister picking, but those words she was speaking!

Yesterday in Kroger, I passed a mother of four, as she yelled, “Jesus, please somebody take these children away.” Even when I was two isles over I could still hear her screaming at her kids. I’m sure she was overwhelmed with life. However, on the next isle I passed a couple pushing a girl, about age 6, in a wheelchair. She was clearly severely disabled. I wondered if they had heard the yelling of the mother who was taking for granted her four seemingly healthy children. Many of the things she was yelling about were simple things I’m sure they wished their child could do:  ASKING for the blue Kool-Aid, PICKING up the box of cookies, and WALKING too slow.

How Would You Feel?

How does it make you feel when a boss, spouse, friend, or child compliments you? Good? But how would it make you feel if you made a mistake and they went on and on and on…

Supervisor:  Ms. Low, you forgot to turn in the invoice.

Ms. Low:  Oops, I just got busy and…

Supervisor:  I don’t care. Why are you always screwing up. Why can’t you be like Ms. High. She is always good. You are good for nothing. I wish I had never hired you. You will never change.

The above scenario sounds sort of ridiculous, but that is exactly the way many children are spoken too. By all means, correct your child, fuss at them, and discipline them. But be aware of degrading, humiliating words that can make them feel “inadequate” and “unloved.” Negative comments chip away at a child’s self-worth. Lift up your child with positive words, and give someone a compliment today!

“Kind words are like honey-sweet to the taste and good for your health.”  Proverbs 16:24

–Donna