Attitude: Baby It’s Cold Outside! -By Donna

Karla and I are so much alike, except when it comes to temperature. As you can see from the picture, this is what the settings sometimes look like when we are traveling together. What you can’t see is that I am wearing leggings, jeans, shirt, sweater, socks, boots, jacket, and drinking hot tea.  Karla is wearing a sleeveless shirt, open-toed shoes, and a cooling rag. Her hair is pulled up, and she’s drinking cold water. It hasn’t always been like this with us, but these hot flashes make traveling with her a little more challenging. I despise the cold!

Some of my Christmas gifts this year from my children included a gigantuous furry blanket and fuzzy slippers that you heat in the microwave before wearing. I’ve always been cold-natured, so, when I saw this week’s forecast, I was dreading it.

14 Degrees

Tuesday morning was the first day back to school.  As usual, I went out and cranked my car, then came back in to do a few things while it warmed up. When I crawled in the car, the outside temperature said 14 degrees. I immediately had to catch my breath from the frigid air that was blowing full force out of my heat vents. Yep, no heat.  The fifteen-minute drive seemed like forever. As I fussed and complained aloud, my warm breath came steaming like smoke from my mouth. By the time I arrived at work, my toes were frozen and my fingers literally ached from the cold. This is insane! I am freezing.

As complaint after complaint fell from my frozen lips, Emily’s friend went through my mind. He works outside. I texted to make sure he had warm gloves and multiple pairs of socks to wear. How awful to work out in this weather. Then I pictured the homeless man and his dog that I pass several times a week. I envisioned an elderly person sitting at home with no heat. Forgive me, Lord. I am so blessed to have a car, unlike the homeless man and his buggy. My dog is curled up on the sofa, while his walks the cold streets with him. I have a warm workplace, while others are outside on a rooftop. And when I return from work, I come inside to my warm home, slide on my heated slippers, and snuggle under my gigantious blanket, while others suffer in homes without heat.

Attitude Adjustment

Sometimes we get so accustomed to things; we take them for granted. Not really having the time or money to fix my heat at the moment, I have driven this way for three days. That first day was all complaining, which I know Satan loved. (He knows just how to get me; he knows I hate cold) But after my attitude adjustment, I just laugh at him, sing my way to school as always (just dressed in a few more layers), and pray for those less fortunate in this weather.-Donna

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Standardized Testing: Oh, The Joys -Karla

 

I have a friend who has given some form of standardized test for over thirty years.  During these days some pretty humorous things have occurred.  

 

Top Ten Things Kids Do 

After Rushing Through a Standardized Test

10. Make puppets with their fingers.

9. Move an arm at the elbow continuously, making to sure the joint still works.

8. Yawn repeatedly, attempting to make it wider each time.

7. Move a leg at the knee back and forth, also assuring this joint’s operation. 

6. Examine a pencil intensively to ensure its optimal usage… Even though it’s never used.

5. Watch fingernails grow.

4. Smile at your teacher in 1,000 different (and silly) ways. 

3. Stare at the minute hand, hoping it will miraculously speed up. Frown.

2. Entangle feet into a web with a desk.

1. Extend a shirt collar. Glare inside in hopes the chest has changed.

Need a Kleenex?

Allergy season is in full swing when public schools test in the spring. My friend explains that often she gives several Kleenexes to the sniffling students and places a trashcan beside them. This year she had a student who continued to whisper, “No, thanks.  I don’t need a tissue.”  My friend concluded that the student must have preferred the softness of his blue hoodie to wipe and rub his nose for three days! I will spare you the visual of how it looked by the third day.

Hot Flash! And I Don’t Mean a News Bulletin! 

My friend also shared the horrific event that she experienced this year. The teachers were required to switch classrooms, not testing their own students. In case IT happened, she packed her book bag with an extra large, ice cold water and a small fan.  

Monitoring as instructed, the hot flash engulfed her. She nonchalantly raced to the back of the room and jabbed the plug into the outlet. Nonchalantly, she eased backward on the table, allowing the fan’s stream to cool her. 

Gulping the ice water, she prayed the fire would cease, yet the flames raged. She ripped through her pocketbook but ever so quietly not to disturb any testers. No hair tie was to be found. 

Don’t do it!  Don’t.  Mom said never! But in desperation, she slid open the teacher’s desk drawer in hopes to find a rubber band. She grabbed her hair off her neck and wrapped the tangle-maker around to provide possible relief.

Standing in front of the steady stream of air again, a thought crossed her mind. Perhaps, no one would see if I just sat down behind this teacher’s desk and shimmied off my black leggings.  Ummm, it would bring such relief! 

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Menopause: Air Tip to the Rescue

Menopause

I seem to be right in the middle of menopause. Hopefully, I am in the middle; at least that would indicate I have a chance of seeing light at the end of the tunnel

Since I cannot take medicines to help, I find myself in the midst of an internal combustion often. Honestly, how discreetly can a woman take ice from her glass in the middle of a restaurant and rub those cold cubes around their neck and up and down their arms. Yes, I get some strange looks. 

Menopausal Brain

A women’s brain can also have a lack on concentration during menopausal. Recently, I stood at a convenience store buying a toothbrush. The day seemed longer than others, and I couldn’t focus. The cashier asked if I noticed the price on another tube from the shelf.

Hot Flash

A flash coming on was like a wild fire spreading through my body. My eyes fixated on the enormous galvanized bucket located by the checkout counter. It was loaded with huge pieces of ice with floating, cold sodas. But to my burning body, all I could see was immediate relief! I envisioned sticking my hand in the frost for a second to douse my flaming insides.

Although tempted, I envisioned a scene in which the store manager was looking around to see if there was a wet t-shirt contest going on somewhere near.

Once home, I realized I had forgotten  the toothbrush on the counter and had to drive back to get it.

The following day was not any better. Sitting in the dentist chair, tilted so low my head was near the floor, I felt another flash coming on.

Geez! Really! Not here! I breathed deeply. It’s mind over matter, Karla. You’ve got this. Really, you do! Come on, it is probably going to pass soon….

“I’ve gotta sit up, now!” I blurted as my body vaulted upward.

“Are you okay?” She inquired in alarm, trying to jerk her hand with metal equipment out of my way

Totally embarrassed by my tsunami of heat and spontaneous sunburn, I blurted. “I’m….I’m fine. It’s just a hot flash,” I managed to say.

Handing me a Dixie cup, I guzzled water. I knew, embarrassed or not, it had to be done. That’s when I stuck my fingers inside and began flicking water onto my neck and arms.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” she tried to smile.

“I think I will be in just a minute.”

Then it happened, the moment of peace.

Her face lit up as the idea hit her. She took her electronic air spout and commenced blowing the refreshing blast all around my head! She was awesome. 

Air Tip to the Rescue

In the twenty remaining minutes, she sporadically sprayed me with the invigorating, chilly blast between scraping, flossing, and shining my teeth.

As I left, she smiled. “I will have to admit this is the first time I had used the air-sprayer in this manner.”

“Well, after I leave, and I do mean after, feel free to share your secret with all the hygienists everywhere!”

I left the building with a fluffy, eighties, hair-blown look and a wonderful new reason for a lady of my age to visit the dentist!

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