I have a friend who has given some form of standardized test for over thirty years.  During these days some pretty humorous things have occurred.  

Top Ten Things Kids Do 

After Rushing Through a Standardized Test

10. Make puppets with their fingers.

9. Move an arm at the elbow continuously, making to sure the joint still works.

8. Yawn repeatedly, attempting to make it wider each time.

7. Move a leg at the knee back and forth, also assuring this joint’s operation. 

6. Examine a pencil intensively to ensure its optimal usage… Even though it’s never used.

5. Watch fingernails grow.

4. Smile at your teacher in 1,000 different (and silly) ways. 

3. Stare at the minute hand, hoping it will miraculously speed up. Frown.

2. Entangle feet into a web with a desk.

1. Extend a shirt collar. Glare inside in hopes the chest has changed.

Need a Kleenex?

Allergy season is in full swing when public schools test in the spring. My friend explains that often she gives several Kleenexes to the sniffling students and places a trashcan beside them. This year she had a student who continued to whisper, “No, thanks.  I don’t need a tissue.”  My friend concluded that the student must have preferred the softness of his blue hoodie to wipe and rub his nose for three days! I will spare you the visual of how it looked by the third day.

Hot Flash! And I Don’t Mean a News Bulletin! 

My friend also shared the horrific event that she experienced this year. The teachers were required to switch classrooms, not testing their own students. In case IT happened, she packed her book bag with an extra large, ice cold water and a small fan.  

Monitoring as instructed, the hot flash engulfed her. She nonchalantly raced to the back of the room and jabbed the plug into the outlet. Nonchalantly, she eased backward on the table, allowing the fan’s stream to cool her. 

Gulping the ice water, she prayed the fire would cease, yet the flames raged. She ripped through her pocketbook but ever so quietly not to disturb any testers. No hair tie was to be found. 

Don’t do it!  Don’t.  Mom said never! But in desperation, she slid open the teacher’s desk drawer in hopes to find a rubber band. She grabbed her hair off her neck and wrapped the tangle-maker around to provide possible relief.

Standing in front of the steady stream of air again, a thought crossed her mind. Perhaps, no one would see if I just sat down behind this teacher’s desk and shimmied off my black leggings.  Ummm, it would bring such relief!